Chemo 4

Eurostar does some strange things. On Monday, hurtling back from Brussels I watched District 9, not my usual choice of film but the South African humour was great. We pulled into Lille and looking through the window, I noticed no passengers on our platform but loads of passengers staring longingly at our train through the glass partition separating the two platforms. Om ‘n lang storie kort te maak (to cut a long story short), our train pulled in on the wrong platform and we had to wait 20 minutes for the station authorities to open the glass partition and allow the passengers onto the train. I got in late, was 45 minutes late for my oncologist appointment but that didn’t make any difference because my oncologist was running his usual 2.5 to 3 hours late. I had an interesting discussion with one of the nurses today who encouraged me to write to the CEO to complain. I heard them giving the same advice to other patients on Monday. The long waiting period means that people cannot plan ahead. I have seen elderly people parked in a wheelchair from 2 ‘til 6 waiting to see their doctor or waiting for transport. The doctors and nurses are good but I do think they need to sort out this waiting period as it is bad enough going there in the first place without having to wait long hours for a 10 or 15 minute chat. I still, however, would not spend money on private medical care!

Today’s chemo went smoothly. Passed all the bloods so the chemo was there waiting and I was able to get started immediately. My chemo-sitter today was Pete and he was on time and cheerful as usual. He told me to stop being a girl about needles and made me drink gallons of water! But he was a great companion and helped make the time fly by. I was pleased that Pete was there when I had a chat with one of my oncologist’s nurses. I had been mulling over my doctor’s suggestion that he might stop treatment after this cycle. My argument was that I had prepared myself for 6 cycles and therefore should go through all 6. In addition, I thought that the extra 2 cycles would zap the cancerous cells even more so that they wouldn’t come back so soon. The nurse explained that sometimes, having the 2 extra doesn’t make much difference at all and in fact, as chemo does some general damage while doing a lot of good too, the doctor would make a judgement call after the next scan. It is true that my liver and kidneys have taken a battering from the chemo and this is something on which that they have to keep a close eye. I asked the nurse how long she thought it would be before the cancer would reactivate and she said that in some patients, it is 3 months, in others 6 months and in others, much longer...there is no way of telling. Bearing in mind that we don’t know how long it took my cancer to activate, I understand my doctor’s reluctance to put any time frames on my condition. I was, however, pleased that the nurse was willing to speak about other cases in general. I also feel at ease now about the chemo possibly ending after 4 cycles, and not 6. I am no longer, however, totally at ease about my own prognosis. I am listening to my body very closely and while it is saying good things to me, my appointment on Tuesday brought on more possible complications. However, the two medical specialists are finally going to communicate with each other and that can only put me in a better position. The coughing has returned the last few days and this is discouraging. I don’t know, I am still positive, cheerful and optimistic, but I also need to be realistic and unless a miracle takes place, which is quite possible, it is going to be a difficult road to travel. I think that what I need to do is wait patiently for the next scan (in 2 weeks’ time) and for the oncologist’s decision about the chemotherapy based on the scan (10th May is my next appointment), before worrying about what might happen. I need to take one day at a time and put into practice this thing called patience that I have been learning!

I have felt a fair amount of discomfort tonight but I am about to take my happy pill and sleepy anti-sickness pill so I should crash soon. So far, the dreaded hiccoughs have not arrived and insh’Allah they will not arrive before tomorrow morning at least (and I mean late morning, not 2am!).

Good news tonight, my cousin Chantelle finally gave birth to a huge 3.1kg baby named Eva. I have to post the Pepper Pig dvds to my godchild Maya quickly so that she will have her own distraction!

Right, bed time for me. If anyone would like to chemo-sit next week in central London (Warren St/Euston), it starts at 11 and should be finished by 12h30. You need to be non-squeamish about needles and be cheerful (if you’re not hard on the eyes then that helps too). Haha, that was cheeky. So, drop me a line and I will put names in a bag if I get more than one response!

Sleepy but ever alert

Goose