Ear, nose and throat

As most of you know, I lost my voice over 2 months ago. I kept telling myself that it would come back eventually and indeed, some days it seemed stronger than others. However, more often than not, it remained not more than a husky whisper. This has had a direct impact on my coaching...how ironic that just when I have access to clients, I don’t have a voice. I managed to do some coaching sessions but I found it rather difficult to inspire confidence in my clients when each time they saw me, I still had no voice and didn’t seem to have a medical reason for it (I haven’t shared my illness with my clients, for obvious reasons).

Today, I saw an ENT specialist at UCL. I was seen promptly at 14h40 (as per my appointment time) by a very friendly and extremely good doctor. Despite my apprehension of having a tube inserted through my nose into my throat, he put me at ease and I decided to trust him. After a quick nasal spray, he inserted his camera and all I felt was a tickling sensation and a slight pushing feeling. The trainee nurse got to have a look up my nose/down my throat too (why would you want to do that?). The doctor sang a note and asked me to imitate him. He was surprised to discover that it was my right vocal chord that didn’t move at all with my left vocal chord wobbling a bit and trying to move towards the one on the right. Both the ENT specialist and the oncologist had thought I had left laryngeal nerve palsy. The plan is now to operate as soon as possible, with an overnight stay in hospital. We agreed to try to get this done mid-July when I return from France, providing I can get a place at UCL. If the doctor I saw today cannot fit me into his own surgery schedule, I will have one of his colleagues perform the operation. He hopes to restore most if not all of my voice strength. This is good news as I really did not wish to remain voiceless for the remainder of my life!

This coming weekend I will realise a long-term wish: I am visiting Poland and will visit Auswitch. I have always been interested in German and European history and this will give me a closer look at that horrific example of human behaviour. My tour guide and translator will be Bart, one of my wonderful couchsurfers. I will stay with him at his parents’ home, my only concern being made to eat a lot. When I visited Vojtech’s family in Prague, the table was constantly covered in food and being a small eater but not wanting to cause offense, I have asked Bart to forewarn his mother that I won’t be eating large amounts! All in all, it is going to be a great weekend.

Sitting on the lawn in Berkley Square having lunch today with Adam, I mentioned to him that I need to set myself some objectives as I feel that I am becoming a little complacent, ill or not! I find that the day flies by and at the end of it, I haven’t achieved much. While I acknowledge my need to rest, I equally acknowledge my need to remain focussed and to set and to achieve objectives. That is the core of coaching, helping clients to set goals and to achieve them effectively. I have many things that I would like to achieve and do not need to sit on my laurels doing nothing about it. Getting my voice back will be a huge source of motivation. Until then, I am looking forward to a week in the south of France. I still have further travel plans and am particularly keen to spend some time in Paris as I have not seen my Parisian friends in absolute ages, years in fact!

Until the next blog, if you have a voice, sing, sing well, sing badly, who cares, just sing out loud, in the shower, in the car, in your lover’s ear when he or she is trying to sleep, just sing, tune in to Magic FM and croon away to love songs, sing with the birds first thing in the morning...as the coke advert used to go: “I’d like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony...”

Much love

Husky Goose