Euphoria

It has been some days since I’ve had my feet “on the ground” so to speak. A couple of days ago I celebrated my 43rd birthday (although I have been claiming I am 34 because I’m “dyslexic”). I had my birthday lunch with Adam, something I’ve been fortunate to do for a number of years now. I then had a visit from Sue and Errol who had just flown in from Nice. We tucked into Rob’s amazing chocolate cake and caught up after so many years of not seeing each other. Then, in the evening, several friends came over to celebrate the rest of my birthday. We had a lovely time, the house was filled with beautiful and frankly awesome people until quite late, actually. As usual, I got spoilt rotten and we danced to “doo bee doo bee”. It was lovely to have some of my previous couchsurfers there as well. All in all, my house filled with beautiful, awesome and amazing people!

On Saturday, we had a family braai (BBQ) at my younger brother’s house. It was great seeing many family members in one place and once again, I sat there marvelling at the extent to which family will extend a hand of kindness, the effort my sister-in-law, sister, mother and brother had put into making the day so special for me. Talking to everyone was not easy as I had little voice and got rather breathless. I managed to sneak a quick nap next to baby Daniel until he woke up and his dummy went into over-drive. He was a huge hit with everyone at the braai. He is indeed a beautiful baby, full of smiles. It’s simple, really, happy parents equal happy babies.

As I said, I haven’t had my feet on the ground for well over a week. I seem to stumble from one loving person to another. Every day, I am blessed with some act of kindness: whether it is a cup of tea, cup of coffee or a hot chocolate made for me by one of my couchsurfers, a gift or a sneaky note of encouragement hidden somewhere in my room, visits from friends who were just “passing by”, messages, letters, texts, phone calls which I cannot answer, emails, just love, love and even more love. I feel as if I have smoked a massive spliff (which I haven’t!) and feel I should be bobbing up and down to Bob Marley’s song “one love, one heart, let’s get together and feel alright”.

I am house-sitting for Tony at the moment and loving the feeling of space which his house gives. Sitting in the conservatory part of the extended kitchen, I can see all the way up the garden, I can sit out in the sun when it puts in an appearance, I can pop into the TV room and watch 4 DVDs one after the other or spend ages watching Property Ladder or Grand Designs on Sky, or just lie on one of the sofas or the bed reading book after book. Now some of you might be thinking, what a lazy sod! I do, however, work as well. I am writing my own coaching programme for online coaching as I know that my voice is going to keep disappearing so I need to have some means of earning an income. I also work on people’s CVs and assist the odd student or two with his/her university dissertation. All in all, I am learning to relax, something which I didn’t always do. I tend to do two or three tasks at once but little by little, I am learning to just stop buzzing around, to stop feeling that I should or must do something, and to just do nothing. I get breathless quickly and have some pain in my chest when I breathe deeply so it does me good to sometimes just chill. The back pain is better controlled now that I have stopped trying to be superman and take my painkillers regularly. I am also sleeping well.

I had a fun trip to the JobCentre Plus the other day. Because they hadn’t booked me for my medical, I had to have a “let’s get you back to work” interview. Well, I turned up as instructed, sat in the waiting room and chuckled at Joe Bloggs who was saying: “I ‘aint gonna work for less than 10 quid an hour”...”But sir, you have NO qualifications and you’ve not lasted long in ANY of the jobs we’ve sent you to”...”I don’t give a monkey’s, i ‘aint working for less than 10 quid an hour”... Priceless! Anyway, my turn came and the lovely lady who was my “case worker” looked at my dossier and said: “Oh dear! My husband died of cancer...” and proceeded to spend 10 minutes telling me about her late husband’s cancer, how he died, how she missed him, etc etc. I listened patiently, whispered a word or two of encouragement and waited for us to deal with my “getting back to work” interview. She asked me what sort of job I would like to do. I said that I would like to do what I am qualified to do: coach, and to continue being self-employed. She said, “What’s your highest qualification?” I said “PhD” and she said “What’s that?” I was tempted to reply: “Pretty Huge....” but stopped myself in time. Anyway, to cut a long story short, she said that they had no intention of getting me back to work as it was clear that I was unfit for work (which is what my GP had put into writing) and that I had to have my final medical to sign me off permanently. She was very sweet, I must admit and I admire the good that they try do at the JobCentre. They don’t deserve the abuse they get from people who do not want to work. I intend, however, doing as much coaching as my health permits. I just have to notify the DWP if I earn more than £93 per week!

On Friday, I am off to Spain. Morse is taking me which means we have to find someone to look after John and Richard, making sure they’re fed and watered every day and haven’t “done poops” in their cage! I’m sure that Eliana, the Polish cleaner, will manage. Morse and I are off to Barcelona for some serious sun-tanning! Back on Monday, straight to the oncologist who will be someone I don’t know but as I am starting my final chemotherapy cycle, I don’t really care. I am having an x-ray tomorrow and will see the results on the 7th.

So, while this is a slightly random blog this time round, I am happy. I have been given enough money for my New York trip for my birthday (thank you, friends and family); I have new furry Polish slippers and a beautiful musical instrument that makes thunder, loads of chocolate and am just one spoiled child, really! I am smiling, I am at peace, and I want you all to be equally happy in your lives.

Thanks for reading

Megga-Goose